Let it Go...

Let it go..

And before you ask, this is not about Frozen (but we love that film...) this is about a chair. Well the beginning bit is anyway. 

So last year a friend of a very good friend of mine was flown over to sort out her stuff and clear her clutter.  This was not only necessary for practical reasons but for spiritual reasons too. My friend had been through a rather crappy time, by herself, with two small children. She needed to get rid of the past and half of her closet and all this went remarkably smoothly until she was confronted with an object that she wasn’t expecting her friend to pick-up on: the baby chair.

The chair in question was one of those wooden ones that can “grow” and change with the child thus lasting a good six years or more and this one had been the loving supporter of both her kids; and it wasn’t going without a fight. 

Her friend insisted and finally at the end of the week, just before a girl’s dinner, we all met in the square of a forgotten hilltop town and the chair was passed down to our other friend who had a baby girl. The Chair Ceremony was a big deal. The chair had been a solid, silent member of her family and now she was saying goodbye, and with it, she was recognising the hard fact that her kids were no longer little. They didn’t need the chair anymore. She had to Let Go.

Fortunately! The chair is alive and well and is much loved by a delightful little lass and so the story ends well…

Now, dear reader, what the hell has a chair got to do with me and my cervix I hear you cry!?

Nothing and everything.

Yesterday I had another check-up. This was a big one and I was pretty scared but thankfully my doctors took one look up me and smiled (euwww!) no sign of nasty Mr Cancer. But my bloods confirmed that I had started the menopausal process and that my ovaries and uterus are, well, burnt to a crisp. I will never have a period ever again THANK HEAVENS FOR THAT I SAY!

Yet, alas, I will never get pregnant again either.

I will never again eat for two (or 4..), or wear funky stretchy tops, or get heartburn or feel those little kicks! I will never again wash dinky little socks or change my child’s nappy or get puked on. Nope, never again. It’s quite a final thought.

So I have decided that I need to Let Go too. For years I have kept onto all my baby stuff in the hope that the patter of tiny feet will once again be heard. I have so much baby gear I could stock most of the Early Learning Centre and it’s all washed and scrubbed and wrapped in plastic. I have clung to it. I sniff it all occasionally…

But now the time has come to move on and clear out. I have been blessed with one amazing little boy and that is a great deal compared to some. I will enjoy every moment with him and not waste another minute thinking about the second baby that will never be. I have one. I have wonderful friends with wonderful kids too. I have my beautiful niece and nephew. I am pretty lucky.

I like to think that I am not “getting rid” of my baby stuff, I am just passing it on to babies who actually need it. 

Like the chair.